Since the dawn of the internet, and especially social media and YouTube, the so-called self-help or self-improvement niche has begun a new golden age. No matter where you are looking, there always seems to be somebody out there ready to give you advice on how to become 2x richer, 5x happier, or 10x more productive.
When we look at all the material that is available, there seem to be thousands of books and videos out there on the subject. Intuitively we know that they cannot all be speaking the truth. But how then, can we distinguish between what is valuable, and what isn’t?
How our brains trick us.
Our brains have evolved to always look for the fastest and most efficient way of getting what we want. This mechanism had obvious advantages when solving difficult problems in times of survival. The brain doesn’t have any context, it just wants to get rewarded. This reward comes among other things in the form of dopamine. Dopamine is released when for example we eat something. It makes us feel good. In hunter-gatherer times, our brains were therefore trying to find the fastest and most efficient way to get food. This made us great hunters and smart gatherers, and allowed us to survive.
Nowadays, however, the same mechanism is often used against us. Social media apps for example, are designed with the same psychological tricks in mind as the slot machines in the casino. Lots of images, popups, sounds and messages. Every time you swipe or refresh you get fresh content. All these impressions trigger a lot of dopamine release in your brain. Way more than say, finishing a project or learning a new skill. This is one of the reasons people have such a hard time focusing on the things that they want or need to get done.
How this plays out in the self-improvement industry and why their advise rarely works.
We face the same issue when it comes to self-improvement. Often when we are looking for self-improvement material, we are trying to answer some very difficult questions in our lives. We are looking for ways to find our purpose in life, or how to become successful in our career or relationship. These are all very complex questions that do not have a simple or universal answer to them. Our brains however, are always looking for shortcuts to a satisfying end, and this is no exception.
The self-improvement niche has found their way of satisfying this urge of our brains. Instead of providing you a framework or theory for the problem you are trying to solve, they just give you the answers straight away. Do this to get rich, follow these easy steps to pick up a girl, eat that to get fit. Your brain LOVES these, no need to solve a complex puzzle, just get straight to the answers.
Yet, it is obvious why such advise is not going to work. If it was that easy, everybody would be rich, fit, and having their dream partner. This kind of advise leaves out the most important key to success, which is your unique personality and situation. The knowledge, skills and experiences only you possess. Let me illustrate this with an example from the book ‘How Will You Measure Your Life’.
An example from the business world.
In the book, the author Clayton M. Christensen tells a story about his own life. One day he received a call from the at that time CEO of Intel, Andy Grove, who had read a few of his academic papers on disruption through innovation [1]. He wanted to have Clayton come over to explain the theory in more detail, so they could figure out what it meant for Intel. When Clayton arrived however, Andy told him that something had come in between, and the meeting had to be cut short.
“Just tell me what it means for Intel”, he urged Clayton. But Clayton said: “I can’t tell you what it means for Intel, because I know nothing about Intel. What I can do is explain the theory to you as good as possible”, and he proceeded to explain his research.
“Look, I’ve got your model. Just tell us what it means for Intel” said Andy after 10 minutes of explaining . But Clayton insisted, “just give me another 10 minutes”.
He used this time to illustrate his model to Andy and his team through a real-life example of the theory in a very different industry. He told the story of how in the steel industry, so-called ‘mini mills’ had begun by attacking the lowest end of the market – steel reinforcing bars – and had later slowly moved up toward the high end steel products. They had undercut the large existing steel manufacturers in the process, and most were eventually driven into bankruptcy as result.
By the end of the story Grove said: “OK, I get it, what it means for Intel is…”, after which he came up with a strategy for Intel and eventually launched the Celeron processor at the bottom of the microchip market. Thereby incorporating the theory Clayton had laid out through the lens of Intel.
How does this apply to us?
In this story, Andy Grove represents our brains. Just like Andy, we often think: “Look, we all understand there are models and theories, but we have no time for those. Just tell us what they mean for US, give us the answers!” But as Clayton points out in the story, he didn’t know anything about Intel. As Intel’s CEO, Andy knew more about the microprocessor business than he could ever have known. If Clayton would have given him answers, they would probably have been mediocre at best for the business. But instead of telling him what to think, Clayton taught him HOW to think. Following from that, Andy formulated an answer to his own question more insightfully and applicable than Clayton could ever have done.
The same model applies to self-improvement. By telling us what to do and what to think, we might satisfy our brains’ need for a quick fix, but we miss out on key insights that we only could have made ourselves. Instead of looking for answers, we should look for a good framework, or a theory, and then put ourselves at the center of that theory. Then, use our unique situation, character, and skills, to apply the theory in the most effective way for us. A way that nobody could’ve shown us, because nobody has more knowledge about us than we do ourselves.
Some practical advice.
What does this mean practically? Be aware of any sources that try to give you the answers straight away. Just as Clayton could not give a good answer to Andy because of his lack of knowledge about the microchip industry, these sources can’t give you a good answer about what you should do. Instead, look for insightful theories, and observe how they were applied in the lives of others. Based on that model, try to apply the theory from your personal point of view. See the world through the lens that theory provides, but using your own eyes, and your own mind to interpret what you see.
Similarly, be aware of giving other people straight answers. Do you really know what is best for them? Although people might be looking for answers, it will probably be more effective to give them a tool instead. Explain them how it works, and give an example, but then leave it to them to solve the question in their way. They will likely find an answer to their question that fits better with them than you could have ever thought of.
Credits where credits are due
This insight was for a large part inspired by the book ‘How Will You Measure Your Life’ by Clayton M. Christensen. I highly recommend this book. As an academic in business theory, Clayton draws a lot of parallels between running a successful business and leading a successful life. This leads to some very surprising but deeply impactful insights. I plan on highlighting more from this book later on, and of course add my own flavor to it. But consider buying the book if you like these sort of topics. (I’m not sponsored by, or affiliated to anyone).
